I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
