btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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