I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
