I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
whose ass print is on the piano?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
