I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize