If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I can't turn off my feet"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
