I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
