I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
