Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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