Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
