I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
