Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
