yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
