Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My liver just broke up with me...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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