Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
