Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize