the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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