thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed smells like the plague
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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