I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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