So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
