why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
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Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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