I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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