I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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