I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
are you so shy because you have an std?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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