Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
