Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize