maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize