quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize
