got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
how do flat chested girls get laid?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
