Where is the hickey?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
