She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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