and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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