Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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