dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
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