I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
