Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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