Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
