i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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