Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
