i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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