If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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