my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
