...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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