You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
