at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Terrible idea I love it
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
