4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i already hear my dad disowning me
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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