We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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