are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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