I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Still dying that you shit outside
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
