Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
