They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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