the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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