Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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