Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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