my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
