'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
