Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Congratulations! We have a period
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