Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
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Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
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he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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