I wanna bring you to show and tell
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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